Not to be outdone by Patty’s last story..  I have one of my own!  Now let me start this off by saying I usually watch the dice as close to 100% as I can.  When I send five dice out.. I don’t look at the three dice I’m dragging back to the bowl.  I just know I’ve got them with the stick and can get them to my hand without looking.

This time though.. I was apparently so intent on something I put myself into a trance or something.  I send out two dice to the shooter and stare at his hand.  That’s when I had a brain cloud moment or something as I’m just staring apparently at his hand without really seeing anything.. just staring blankly as the shooter has already thrown the dice.

His hand is still in the layout though, down on the table and by gawd I’m staring at it completely oblivious to him having already chucked the dice.  It’s all a split second to me sorta as I’m out of it seemingly but I’m sure it must have seemed an eternity to the rest of the people on the game.  People wondering what the hell’s going on etc… in the back of my mind I hear other base in the distance “Seven out!” and I remember thinking “why in the HELL would Rueben be rooting OUT LOUD for a seven? wtf?”

Then the box calls it and I’m like “huh, whaaa?” and kinda come around and decide I had better “take my eyes off the dice” to look and see what all the commotion is.  I see base out there on other side moving out toward…… two dice on the layout, 6-1.  Well pooh.. wth I thought, now back from LALA land.  The damage is done though.

I think this brain cloud is terminal, I only have six months to live.

This isn’t a Joe Cat story, but it qualifies…

Little Joe is on stick, D.O.T.Y. is on base.. other base is slammed paying a ton of stuff.  Joe says “White to stick, please.” Nothing happens.

Looks at D.O.T.Y. still standing there.. ”White to stick.”

<crickets>

Joe blinks and takes a nickel off his stack and throws it in the come in front of DOTY and says “check change.”

“Where?”

“To me.” says Little Joe.

“Oh ok.” and she cuts out five singles and hands them to Joe.

Mr. Tony V. is on stick and sends the dice to the “Toys are Us” guy. Who grabs one then Tony pulls the other four back. Tony realizes his mistake and pushes the remainder of the dice back to the shooter. This was amusing, but we are not done yet. The dice have now worked their way all the way back to the T.r U. guy and I’ll be damned he did again. The T.r U. guy was ready this time. He chucked the one die he had. Tony turned into a popsicle, frozen on stick, and stared in awe as the die sailed through the air. Lynda and I yelled “No Roll” in perfect 2 part harmony. Just when we thought the well had run dry with Joe another dealer steps up to carry the torch.

I’m in the meeting.. minding my own business, being thankful that nobody is asking eleven questions when Joe Cat says to me:

“I got in trouble ’cause of a spoon.” and turns back toward the stage, also listening to somebody not ask eleven questions.

So I say “oooh no… no no no NO! You can’t just tell somebody that you got ‘In trouble ’cause of a SPOON‘ like that and not give an explanation.. It’s not right.. It’s not fair! Come on, Joe, explain yourself.”

“I… I… I can’t explain it on account of the incident report…”

(more…)

So, Joe was on the pole on crapless last night.  Some stroke was doing his thing, and Joe was figuring things out.  This guy was complaining about how slow he was and how he would be a better dice dealer than any of us and without missing a beat…

“Sir, would you like to press your bets so you don’t push the next time?”

Dammit Joe, your learning.

Ok.. player has been playing the don’t.. $100 flat and a big chunk of whatever on the lay.  Last four points have all been a 4 or a 10 so it should be pretty easy to figure out half of the bet for the payoff, right?

Right?

Oh wait, did I mention it’s Joe Cat on base?  Oh, sorry.. I should have said.

Joe’s gotten them all wrong.. close, yes, but wrong.  He stands up and says “ok ok ok, half.. gets half.. size into”

“FIVE! LIGHT THE FIVE! No field f..”

Joe whispers to himself, “oh shit.” and marks the five.

So I’m walkin’ to break I see Joe Cat closing up a card game.. I walk over to say “hi” ’cause I haven’t seen him much in the last three? months.

He says “I’m coming back! I’m coming back! Gimme some prop action.”

“Nooooo I don’t think so” I chuckle.

“Awww come on I’m coming back I’m coming back come onnnn gimme some props!”

“Ok ok.. $5 hoppin the 10, hard 10 rolls” I say. (more…)

OK, no big deal really here, but, here it goes.

Joe’s on stick, one shooter on the game nothing going on.  All of a sudden I hear

“Step away from the microwave sir.”

WTF, Joe.

Welcome back Joe.  Hope to see some doozies here real quick.

Sooo.. I’m in Wal*Mart the other day.. and up front by the pictures of the missing kids there’s another section of pictures on the wall.. people banned from the store.

Guess who’s picture is there.. that’s right,  our favorite wayward son, Joe Cat.

There’s a security snapshot of him next to his pixelated mug showing the Freight Train jumping the tracks and wiping out on that motorized scooter shopping cart, taking out a row of shelves and end cap.

What’s up with that, Joe?

So, on crapless Tuesday night.  Kelly C made a joke about how Joe (cigar in his mouth all the time) and Homer Simpson bought their pants at the same place (both blue pants).  Joe looks up and goes “where’s that at?”

Thanks again Joe.